Complicated Simplicity

an intentional 2012...week one

i know it's only week one. i know that there are 51 more weeks in the year. that's a lot of time to forget about my plan to live with more intention.

instead of dwelling on what may happen, i am choosing to celebrate what did happen.

this week got 2012 off to an amazing and intentional start.

for seven days in a row, i intentionally walked at least a mile.

it has been so great. paul has walked with wa and i every single day and it's been nice to spend that time together-away from other distractions. so far i'm feeling great and enjoying every moment. thinking about intentionally increasing my distance by half a mile this next week for a couple weeks. eventually, i want to be doing five to six miles every day (in one or two walks). it's helped me to finally realize that i can walk places we would normally drive to, as well (like target and the library-both places we walked to this week).

for seven days in a row, i have read three chapters from the Bible with paul.

i've mentioned before how difficult it can be for us to read the Bible together. this time, we're just reading. no major discussions. just reading the Bible together. three chapters at a time. the plan is to have read through the entire thing by the end of the year (probably a tad earlier as we started before Christmas, although we took a break while we were in Michigan). we started with exodus vs. genesis because we've read genesis together many, many times. so, we will end with genesis. :-)

for seven days in a row, i have written daily gratitudes.

i write them in my goodness book (mines a different color combo than this one, but otherwise the same). it's such a great exercise and has reminded me to be thankful for both the good and the bad. it also helps me to think/work through the situations in our life and see how i can grow from them. it's been incredible already.

for seven days in a row, i have taken photos.

instagram has been awesome for me. i snap photos all the time. i also have been trying to take one photo with my DSLR as well (generally the ones i post here). photography is once again joyful and i look forward to finding things to capture every day.

for seven days in a row, i have taken a self-portrait.

i use the everyday app. it's awesome. i'm hoping with all the exercise i've been getting, that my face will get skinnier as the year goes on. :-)

for seven days in a row, i have done an intentional act of love.

this one can be hard for me sometimes because things can become boring and routine. saying "i love you" can be just something you do all the time. this has forced me to really think about how i respond toward paul and the things i do for him. it's been really great to evaluate my actions and pay attention to how i express my love to him.

week one was a smashing success, and i'm looking forward to seeing what week two holds!

month of gratitude: our eighth anniversary

this month i will try to choose something i'm grateful for each day. to help focus my mind and heart on being thankful for all that i have. God is so good and He has given me so much more than i deserve or could ever have hoped. i just want to reflect upon some of those things. :-) 

so very thankful for eight years

eight years! it's so hard to believe it. in some ways it seems like it's been forever and in others, like just yesterday.

when planning our wedding, we both just wanted to get married. we really didn't care much about the details and our budget was basically nonexistent (and i would totally elope if i were to do it over again). :-)

the day before my family came into town. we had our rehersal at the church and went to dinner at buddy's pizza. after dinner, we drove my family back to the apartment and paul and i finished up a little shopping. we seriously had to buy my shoes (adidas tennis shoes), and our wedding rings. ha! we headed back to the apartment (where my family was all sleeping all over the living room) and we packed up our suitcase for our honeymoon. vange helped us. :-)

then paul went home and i took a bath and wrote out my card for him. then, i climbed into bed next to my mom and slept for a few hours. i got up super early (trying to avoid waking anyone) and p picked me up so we could go to breakfast at big boy together. it was super nice to have that bit of time together before the wedding.

then he dropped me back off at the apartment and my sisters and mom and i headed out to get our hair done. we pulled up to the church and p held the door open for us (amidst cries from my family of "you're not supposed to see her"). the guys were in one room watching the football game (Michigan vs. Michigan State) and we were in another getting ready.

these photos are all scans of matte prints, so sorry they're kind of wonky looking.

my brother took all of our photos, and we did family photos before the ceremony.

my fave of the three of us-my two little sisters vange (the baby) on the left and robbie in the middle. and yes, my flowers were gigantic. way, way gigantic. um, a lady from church graciously offered to do our flowers and i didn't see them until the day before. if we did it again, i'd just pick up a bouquet from the grocery store on the day of, not that they weren't beautiful. i just love real flowers, but then, we were on a nonexistent budget. :-)

my big brothers and me. :-)

a baby-faced p :-)

p and his grandpa phil.

then it was time for the ceremony itself. i didn't cry one single bit, but p said he teared up when i walked down the aisle. :-) i don't really remember a whole lot about it. i remember robbie almost dropping her bouquet at one point. i remember p suddenly remembering that the lapel mike had been tucked in for photos, so he stealthily pulled it out while alan was talking. i remember how p couldn't get my ring on so he tried to "screw" it onto my finger. i remember people booed us (seriously) when we kissed because it was so short (and my brother was switching rolls of film so he missed it-ha!). i remember walking down the aisle and ending up in a room crammed with people right after (totally would find a quiet spot for just us if we could go back in time). i remember p wanted organ music and chose great is thy faithfulness for the song as our mom's were seated. i remember i walked down the aisle to pachelbel's canon in d. i remember we had everyone sing the doxology as we lit the unity candle.

warrendale-basically where we met.

we picked genesis for our passage/message-the presentation of eve to adam. :-)

i went with him to pick out the tux-i wanted "ribbon" pants because i think they're classy.

our "kiss" we had to recreate it after the ceremony b/c my brother missed the real one.

after the wedding, we did some more photos with family and then went on to the reception. we really kind of wanted to just do cake and punch, but were vetoed on that. ha! so, we didn't choose our food at all, but it turned out awesome. everyone seemed to have a good time even if p and i were just counting down the minutes till we could get out of there. unfortunately, my beloved spartans (GO MSU!) lost that year, but it didn't dampen the day.

with p's mom-see, i told you that bouquet was way (too) huge!!!

with p's dad and his dad's wife

with p's sister, karla and her husband, matt (and katelyn!!! :-)

with my family. back row (l to r): my brother david, my dad, my mom, myself, p, my other brother scott. front row (l to r): my sisters-robbie, evangeline and jolene. :-)

one of my very favorite things about the wedding was that my momma made the cake. :-)

me at the reception. :-)

yup, eight years. wow. it has been an interesting ride, and i know it will probably be even more interesting as the years keep rolling by. :-) however, it has been good and we are still in love and are still going on adventures together.

i love you p, even more than that day in 2003. here's to eight more, and then sixty more after that! :-) xoxoxo, rachie

this is the song we walked back up the aisle to (yup, a punk song-Worth the Wait by Philmore)! enjoy!:

cheerio but be back soon

i put p on a plane for detroit today (via houston). he is going to have an amazing five days with his family.

while he's gone i hope to finish up christmas presents, edit all of the photos from our Olympic trip, start my autumn cleaning and there's a conference at church this weekend. should be enough to keep me busy! :-)

this weekend...road trip for two

we:

• drove up to Olympic National Park
• snagged a spot in our campground of choice
• saw lots of wildlife
• saw many amazing sights
• went star-gazing
• built four campfires
• experienced rain in the rain forest
• saw mountains
• got soaked by rain at the beach
• chilled the bones and blood in our feet
• packed and unpacked the car
• took 1289 photos
• had an amazing little trip away

more details to come in some oh the adventure posts once the photos are edited and ready to be posted! :-)

how was your weekend?

road trip for two...we're takin' off

we are taking off tomorrow morning for a little road trip/camping adventure on the olympic peninsula. the plan is to hit the road super early (i told p seven, but i'll be waking him up at six in the hopes to get a little earlier start) so we can arrive at the campground just after "check-out". we're hoping this will help us to avoid the rush and snag a spot at the campground we want.

we have no real itinerary (which is soooo strange for me). the plan is to just take our time and stop when we want and see what we want to see. there are a couple of things on our list (hurricane ridge, the hoh rain forest, the beach) but other than that we're just going to drive and take our time.

sunday we'll stay at a different campground, and I don't think we'll have to worry about snagging a site quite as much as saturday, but we'll still be sure to get there early.

our breakfasts will be made up of instant oatmeal and half and half (we got the little cups to make it easier), we also have coffee (some starbucks via i got p for christmas) and hot cocoa.

our dinners will be hobo pies (pizza ones, of course). we also have some blueberry pie filling for actual pie ones as well.

our lunches will be hot dogs roasted the night before on the fire and popped in the cooler. super simple to pull out throw on a bun with some condiments and eat wherever we're at.

we also have chips, cookies, carrot sticks and granola bars for snacks.

oh, and s'mores. we can't forget the s'mores.

we had to buy some marshmallow forks because our got lost somehow in the shuffle of the move. we just got cheap (and kind of short) ones for now. we'll get some better ones later.

i still have so much to do today!!! really, all i've done is pack up the food bag. before p gets home from work, i'd like to have the clothes packed up, the camping gear stacked in the kitchen, and the cooler stocked with non-fridge items (like unopened pizza sauce, pop, etc). basically, i want to get everything ready to be loaded right into the car (with the exception of the cooler, of course).

when p gets home from work, the plan is for me to clean the windows of the car, and to clean out the trunk and backseat. the backseat is not too bad (just old bulletins and such), but the trunk has been used like a second closet (since our apt is so tiny). it has a bunch of random things in it, so we'll bring those up. i'll try to find a place for them up here after we get back, just so we can use our trunk like normal people (groceries and such).

i also need to charge up the cameras and pack up my guidebooks and such (i'm going to really try to limit myself on what i bring).

anyway, all that to say that i have some posts scheduled to come up this weekend. the rest of our five-day road trip with p's mom and a new lovely words post on sunday.

have a wonderful weekend!!!!!!

do you have any special plans?

seven years...seven memories

Yesterday was our seventh anniversary. I intended to post this yesterday, but didn't get around to it. :-) I thought I'd share seven of my favorite memories from my seven years of marriage to my wonderful, amazing, awesome, lovely paul!!!

1. our trips-to FL on our honeymoon, to DC, to Canada, to Beaver Island, to Branson, to Disney World, and all of the other little trips inbetween. Some of my favorite memories are from our trips together. I love adventure and it's way more fun with Paul. I've learned to relax and roll with the punches, and he's learned to put up with my super schedules and "gotta make the most of it and take advantage of everything" attitude! :-)
2. buying our first house-it was a hassle when Paul lost his job, but it was worth it. I don't regret getting our own little place. It was an incredible first house. We painted it so many colors and decorated it and fell in love with it. We spent many evenings sitting on the porch. Many hours playing games together or with family around the orange booth in the kitchen. We lovingly decorated a nursery that was never able to get used, but we still loved it so much.
3. moving to OR-oh my gosh, what an adventure. Paul picked seminary here and we set a date and we got going on it. He didn't have a job for sure (although he was pretty sure he'd get it right away), we didn't have a place to live and we had just enough money to get here, camp for a couple weeks, get a storage unit and survive until we got an apartment. And we did it. At the time, it didn't feel strange or like we were taking a chance at all, we just knew it would work out. Looking back...wow, people must have thought we were crazy taking such a chance. It worked out though, God was faithful and watching out for us, and we are so happy.
4. getting Wawa-we'd talked about it on and off for a year or more. One day I just looked in the paper and found some lab puppies. I told Paul (not expecting anything), but he called the guy and later that day we were bringing home Wawa. He's held a special place in our family ever since. Paul can get so irritated from him, but he's the first to want him sleeping in our bed and cuddling with him. We love him.
5. Halloween 2010-Paul was so excited since it was the first year he could pass out candy. It was so wonderful to watch him get so excited. He set up a little table to put the candy bowl on, put on his hockey jersey, pulled out his hockey stick, and anxiously waited for trick-or-treaters. I'm so glad we got four so he could pass out some candy. It was adorable and one of my new favorite memories of him.
6. Christmas 2004-we spent it at home together and it was just so peaceful and calm and relaxed and so nice. The year before had been a crazy whirlwind, so it was nice to have the change of pace. We watched movies and ate snacks and dinner and just had a fun relaxing day.
7. our Disney World vacation-I know this was already mentioned, but deserves it's own post. It was just such an enjoyable trip together. We had so much fun going on the rides and swimming and making new memories. It was my favorite trip that we've taken (although each holds it's own special memories and place in my heart). My favorite...swimming with the sharks...and swimming in the rain...and dragging Paul to the parks early...and just everything.

happy birthday...to p

 

My little Peep,

Happy, happy birthday! 

I hope that your 29th year is an awesome one...even your best yet.

I hope that at least some of your dreams come true this year.

I hope that 29 is the year you finally become a daddy.

I hope that you learn and grow in every way possible this year.

I hope we go on lots of adventures together this year.

I hope that you realize just how very loved and appreciated you are.

I hope that you realize how blessed I am to have you in my life.

I hope you realize how very much you mean to me.

I hope you realize that your life matters.

I hope you realize the difference you have made in my life and in the lives of others.

I hope you realize that 29 is not old....far from it. :-)

I hope you realize that I love you and cannot wait to spend your next 29 years with you.

Happy 29th birthday p!

I love you-rachie

the journey...on letting Paul lead

the journey is my attempt at putting more of myself out there, as honestly and whole-heartedly as I can. To share my struggles and joys and griefs and triumphs and laughs with others (you!). To share the things I've learned and am still learning while on this journey called life.

 

Paul and I have been married for almost seven years. We have been through a lot in our little life together-struggling with infertility, moving five times, moving away from family and then moving even further away across the country, job loss, rough patches, intense joy...etc. We have grown individually and as a couple.

This week I came across this video: Story Behind Lead Me. And it really resonated with me. And it hasn't left my heart or mind since. You see, I am not very good at being led. I am also not a very good leader. I'm somewhere in the middle.

I tend to exist in my own world. I'm a very private person. I keep my thoughts to myself. I internalize everything. I tend to be very focused on what I'm doing and I have my own little routine. I like things to be planned out to a certain degree. I'm super awkward in social situations, to the point where I sometimes wonder if I have social anxiety.

The problem is, this also overlaps into my relationship with Paul. I have a very hard time sharing my heart with him. Sharing my thoughts and grief and joy. I have a very hard time sharing my spiritual life with him. Sharing anything with him.

So, we've been on this course of two people that love each other so very much, but don't have much in common. We spend time together, but I feel like that time tends to be spend in superficial pursuits (Wii tennis, anyone?). Not that there's anything wrong with Wii tennis, or having fun doing those types of things, but I'm longing for more.

I don't want to stay still or go deeper into the pattern of living as two aquaintances living under the same roof. I want to really become and feel like one. To be a family. To grow individually and together as a couple. To draw closer to Jesus and to each other through Him.

It is going to be hard. Very hard for me. I'm going to have to learn to be more vulnerable. To open my thoughts and heart up to Paul. To allow him to lead me toward that growth. To give up my stubbornness, my biases, my insecurities and just allow myself to grow. To know how to let him lead. How to help him lead. How to react to his leadership. How to encourage him in that role.

The hardest thing, though, is going to be sharing my spiritual life with him. I know it sounds ridiculous that I don't share it with him. Very wrong of me, but it's true. The first time we did devotions together (when we were dating) ended badly, with hurt feelings. It's been awkward every time we've tried to do it since. However, I know that in order for our relationship to improve, it must be built upon Jesus. It must grow out of and through Him.

When I watched this video, it really spoke to me. It was as if Matt Hammitt and his wife were talking about our relationship. Our struggles.

I don't want a mediocre marriage. I want to learn to resolve conflict. I don't want to live with my best friend and lover, while rarely connecting on that deeper level. I don't want our relationship to remain stagnant.

After watching the video, I found these prayers that I immediately copied into a Word document and printed on a half sheet. I keep the one for wives in my Bible as a reminder to pray for Paul, to pray that I be the woman, wife and lover he deserves and desires. A reminder that I want to grow in our relationship.

This journey is definitely not an easy one, but it is necessary and I know the benifits and blessings reaped will far outweigh the difficult work put in.

Paul is worth it. We are worth it.